I AM BORED!!!!! :( :(

Right now, I am sitting in an ESM lecture, been forced to watch a very BORING presentation on CRM (I am not sure bout the topic!!). My prof. caught me watching “Friends” on my laptop. I was sitting very nicely in the last row, right behind the prof. I put on my headphone, ignorant of things around me. I was watching this real sexy episode and did not realize that the voice was been heard around me. In due course of time, even the prof. heard it and gave me a real ugly STARE!!! I had no option but to shut down my laptop. I guess the faculty just cannot see us happy!! My first lecture of the day was another classic. There were only 20 odd students in the class (out of 70) and around 15 of us could barely keep our eyes open Our poor teacher who is majorly FRUSTRATED with life and appears to be on the verge of breaking down and committing suicide, finally lost her cool and started shouting her head off. What pissed her off was the fact that even all the shouting could not wake us from our slumber. We kept on sleeping with our eyes open (Trust me; it’s a tough things to do!!).. At times, I do pity her. She does have a tough job trying to teach us, that too at 9:15 in the morning.
Life is weird (yes… I am back to my philosophical self!! I pity who ever is reading this). All the people I know and am closely associated with are going through some panga or the other. One of my friends is torn between her ex- boyfriend, her “langotiya dost”, some new dude who has fallen for her and is professing his love for her, some colleagues friend hitting on her SHAMELESSLY. (Phew, quite a list). I hope somewhere in this crowd, I am also there. I hope she remembers me. Naa… I am sure she does. I know that when she talks to me, she is actually talking to herself. She is confused like crazy (and I used to think that I am the undisputed king. I have some competition!!). She is frustrated with her life. I am WORRIED bout her. I hope she survives this cause good times are just around the corner. After all, good things come in small packages.. :) :)
Two of my best friends are right now going through a break-up. The dude seems to have taken it quite well. He is consciously withdrawing into a shell. Things might look good on the surface, but they are not. The female is just not willing to accept the situation and move on. She is holding on to something which is no longer there. I hope things turn out well between them.
Then, there is another friend of mine, who is going through a commitment problem (reminds me of Chandler!!). Both the parties involved like each other but are not willing to commit. Sounds stupid to me. The whole funda beats me and is beyond my comprehension. When I heard about there case for the 1st time, I thought to myself that they would make a good “urbane couple”. But now, I am having my doubts. Hope things work out fine between them.
Aur ab meree baree. I have been made to realize that I am very casual. I agree to that. But I think I am on track to get decent marks this semester. I just cannot make people understand my point of view. Maybe that is due to the fact that I myself am CONFUSED!!. Don’t really know.
I just hope things work out well for all of us and we have a very happy new year. Its time things took a change for the better. I think all of us have had our fair share of bad luck. Now, we deserve something good in our life. When I say “I”, I mean all the people mentioned above and others about whom I have not spoken. Dua karo hamare upar se shanee kee dasha hat jaye. Till then, HAPPY NEW YEAR… :) :) :) :)

LIFE ROCKS(DOES IT??

Tuesday, December 12th, 2006.. Economics lecture


Yesterday night was a very weird night for me!!! I had been waiting for something to happen and when it actually happened, I had mixed feelings. I did not know how to react. One part of me was happy on the occurrence of the event, but the other part was sad and confused. The event brought forward loads of emotions which were in the background for the past 20-25 days. The sad/confused portion took over the happy side of me. I hope the happy side fights back!!!!!!

But after ages yesterday, my mind was at peace. It was not as turbulent as it normally is. There were thoughts but not as weird as the ones I was having lately. Part-II of the episode is to be played out today. Let’s see how it works out. I am sure I will get over it and ultimately forgive the person. But somehow, “THINGS HAVE CHANGED” (I am just quoting someone). This time around the hurt and feeling of loneliness was amazingly high. It’s not easy to forgive this time around.

Anyways after everything that happened, I tried to study for a crappy eggjam. For 20 min. I was successful in concentrating. But after some time some bugger thought that he had come to a discotheque and started playing one really STUPID song from Dhoom-II again and again. It took all my patience to stop myself from shouting at him. Anyways after some time good sense prevailed. I was happy and tried studying again. But that was not to be… Providence was against me. There is this really DESPERATE couple at the campus who are making full use of the freedom of hostel life!!!! They put on a folk song (I think it was in Telugu, or was it Kannada???) and started exploring each other (Yes, think DIRTY!! They were doing exactly that). I had had enough and pushed off. I went to my room to see the WONDERFULL sight of my clothes drying for the past two days!! There was no place to sit. My room was MESSY with a capital M (That’s an understatement). Didn’t have the caliber to clean it up and just dozed off with the noble idea of reading something. All this was at 3 in the morning. Woke up at 8:30 and rushed for my lecture. Didn’t have the time to take a bath (anyways the water is FREEZING cold). At least god had some mercy and I had decent breakfast. Since then it’s been a DRAG. Am barely able to keep my eyes open. Have got a test in the next period. I am nicely prepared for it. As in, I am sitting amongst people who are like me and not studied a single word!! All set to make it an open book exam… J J lets see what happens. I must admit I have woken up now!! Even I am surprised.Chal fir see yaa. Shubh ratri, shabba khair and do take good care of yourself (I know KBC copied it from me and I am yet to receive any royalty. No wonder they are making so much of money!!). Finally, CHOW and I ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE SUCKS (OR IS IT PEOPLE)???

Why is it that people behave weirdly?????? I guess there is no answer to that. Everyone has a reason to do what they are doing. But why do they do things which are just not justified??? (I am asking a lot of questions!!!!!). There are people who are bloody smart. They are so smart that at times they over smart themselves. I personally HATE over smart people. At this age, people ought to be able to prioritize things. If you cannot do this properly, then it’s gonna create loads of problems in the future. There is no need to be a hypocrite. If you don’t have it then why the hell do you wanna show mock concern? If you are the “caring types” then where is your care?? I can digest stuff when it happens to me, but when it happens to my friends or close ones, certain things can just not be ignored. A line has to be drawn somewhere. You cannot always get away with CRAP. Someone has to put the foot down. I guess yesterday was the last straw. I have had enough. I don’t know why but even looking at certain peoples face is PISSING me off. I just can’t help it. I am not doing it consciously. Personally, I think if someone has to make a call between decency/courtesy and freaking out, I would opt for the former. Hell you can take out 15 min. from your partying and show some decency. It is going to do no one any harm. Either that or stop showing crappy and formal concern. F… OFF man… Gimme a break damnit. You want me to show chivalry towards your female friends. I don’t think I need to be taught chivalry, I am good at it. As the saying goes, “charity begins at home”. So do it yourself and then expect things from me. Till that time, go back to school and LEARN some basic manners. No one can become a hero by acting smart (sorry, over smart) in front of the opposite sex. If you want to be heroic that ways, then you are welcome. Be my guest. But mind you, that would imply not having anything concrete inside you. If these buggers are left alone in a one on one they would CHICKEN OUT… I can bet my ass on the fact these people are the biggest cowards on earth. All they can do is talk big and be politically correct. When it actually comes to doing things, a disease called “lack of balls” strikes them. I can go on and on about these assoles, but I think I have already wasted more than required time, thoughts on these people. I guess the best policy would be to just ignore them and move ahead. (But when someone is hospitalized, show some courtesy, in the name of god. Leave aside your personal differences. One small 5 min. visit can make a huge difference.)

Now, we move to the next huge question about “ME”. Trust me, I confuse myself. I am just not able to understand myself!!!! I have wonderful friends. Friends for the rest of my life. I agree to the fact that all of us are leading different lifestyles. But, is it so tough and hard to stay in touch. Am I asking for too much if I ask them to call or talk to me? Hell, am I wrong to expect things from my friends?? God knows how lonely I feel. I speak and kid around with a lot of people but there are times when I feel terribly lonely. I just wanna stay in touch with around 5 of my friends. That’s it. I understand things and strongly disagree with the notion that “people change”. No people don’t change, their “priorities” in life change. This is bound to happen over a period of time. I’ll take you through my list of friends.
One of my first friends was my sis (surprising!!!!). She is married off and there is a geographical (could be emotional) distance between us. No, it’s not an emotional distance. I still love and respect her like crazy!!!! But the distance might be creating a problem. It’s just not happening. We don’t talk for 15 days or something. But after 15-30 days, boy we talk!!!! I get the impression there is a huge amount of frustration out there. She is also lonely. There is so much which she can tell me. I desperately wanna help her out, but I am helpless.

Next, we move to this friend who is married. She is amazingly guilty of the fact that we are not able to speak properly. She has her own problems. I know she wants to open her heart to me, but again its just not happening. Too much of limitations. If we don’t talk for a month, it means something is majorly wrong. Just a superstition!!!!

There is another friend of mine who has created a distance, because I remind her of her ex-boyfriend. I respect that babes. :(. Another friend has gone apart while doing his Masters. We still share our good and bad things, but it’s not the same.

Now, I am bored of writing. So let me wind up. I will just like to say that even I want my dues (at times). Even I want people to take the initiative (read people=friends). It would be awesome if it happens. I am waiting and have my fingers crossed. It’s very true;”a friend in need is a friend indeed”.

I am yet to write about one of my best friends (could be the biggest problem of my life). Maybe next time. I have loads of boring lectures to follow…..

P.S: This was written on the 4th of December, 2006 in a very BORING BRM lecture..

We Suck!!!!!!!

I have started attending classes today. I don’t know how it feels. As in, it’s a neutral sort of a thing. I don’t know how to react. Till yesterday, I was DISGUSTED with my “mature peers” at this so called B-school. I was actually ashamed to see how gullible, politically correct, stupid, double faced people could be. There was a female who had put up a notice outside the mess which said-“Dear god, save me, cause even if I die out here, none of my friends would help me”. This female was emotionally disturbed and asked me about what is going on, why have people started attending classes? One of the rare moments in my life, I was at a loss of words. I just couldn’t answer her. The worst part is that the notice was removed within half an hour of it been put up. I was there on Thursday when 2-3, so called students, who were supposedly fighting for the cause of Prabuddha & Jasmine had said that they are not gonna leave the Nagarjuna campus without been “beaten up”. We tried to dissuade them, talk sense into them, but to no avail. I was against the idea of staying back, cause it was sure to invite trouble. But, I sat down with them, cause we were not going to leave our friends behind. At that point of time, I was DUMB (STUPID) enough to think that this is just their way of reacting to the situation. It was only later that I realized that it was just a move on their part, which would give them cheap thrills and somehow glorify their image (give them something to boast about I guess). When the time came for the real test, standing up to the authorities, these were the first assholes to back out. They changed their stance,” strategy”, to counter the administration. They have the noble thought of attending classes and still “fight”. BALLS!!!!! I call it chickening out. End of the day they did not have the balls to fight it out. They were shit scared. Although they might appear and behave macho, they are chicken hearted. All they can do is go around in groups and try and bully others. I guess they thought the college would actually throw us out of our rooms, all 850 of us. Bullshit…. I am just curious to see how they would continue their so called fight. I wanna see for how long they can sustain it. My bet is not beyond Wednesday. In the end, I would just like to be a bit philosophical by quoting, “cometh the hour, cometh the man”. But there was no man. A very sorry state of affairs, if you consider strength of 600 boys.


P.S: This was written right after a great tragedy wherein 2 of my batchmates lost thier lives in an accident. May God bless thier souls. Dated: Nov.25th 2006.. Saturday