What the heck???????????

I don’t know how to start. I am somehow feeling a bit weird. I don’t know why this strange feeling of …... I don’t know what has engulfed me suddenly. We had a torrential downpour out here in the evening. It was raining cats and dogs from around 19:00 to 21:00 hours. The rain was awesome. The worst part was I could not enjoy it. I was chatting to this friend of mine who is in Manila. I had not heard from him since AGES!! We chatted and tried for a voice chat. But the elements were against us. In the end we just decided to chat. But that was not to be. Our AMAZING, MIND-BLOWING internet connection is so sexy that I don’t have words to express it (good for it, cause the only words which would come would be abuses!!). We tried chatting for an hour but, finally had to give up when the connection got lost and did not return. I opened my balcony with the thought that I would enjoy the rain, but it was water-logged. I tried standing on the passage, but even that was not possible. It was raining that hard. Ultimately around 9’ o clock we decided to go down for dinner. That’s when the best part of the whole day came. I absolutely am anti-umbrellas and stood by my beliefs in trying times also.[:)]. I walked it down from the hostel to the mess. It’s not a huge distance but I still managed to get wet. It felt REALLY REALLY nice. I was still not satisfied. I wanted to get DRENCHED (I know it sounds weird, but I really wanted to!!). An opportunity presented itself in the form of Surf. No, not the surf excel wala surf, but a female whom we call surf (I know she doesn’t like it and one of this days I am in for a major panga). The poor female had no umbrella and wanted to go back to the girl’s hostel. The chivalrous gentlemen inside me woke up and I offered to drop her back with a borrowed umbrella. Now comes the saddest part. [:(]. After dropping her off I closed the umbrella with only one thought in my head, I WANNA GET WET. But, someone there is someone up there just cannot see me happy. Can you believe it, it stopped raining!!! Bloody hell, LIFE SUCKS. When I returned to the mess the rotis were finished. You can make out I must have been very happy!!!

I don’t know what effect Mother Nature has on me. She is very fascinating. I can spend hours and hours doing nothing but just soaking in an amazing sunset, or the shiny stars, or just looking at the rain or enjoying the lovely breeze. It has a very strange effect on me. I tend to go very quite and somehow philosophical and serious. This happens especially at heights. Even the 7th floor terrace of our hostel has that effect. I guess during such times I give the impression that my mood is off. But that is not the case. I guess I just want and enjoy the moment and save it in my hard disk. There are LOADS of such moments saved up there. I actually do remember them quite frequently. End of it all I guess it is just FASCINATING. I don’t know, very hard to explain.

Then I spoke to this really close friend of mine. Whenever I talk to her, we don’t seem to talk enough. Every time we hang up, there is a feeling that we should talk more. But, ye harjai duniya!!! Jokes apart, I really do enjoy it. After what has happened in the recent past, we needed a casual sort of a chat. She told me that I have changed. She could not elaborate further cause her mom was around. I hope it’s a change for the better. Others have also told me the same thing. I don’t think that’s true. I am still the same old me. Maybe I have gone more serious. I don’t know. Anything it is, I hope it’s a change for the better.


Also spoke to this friend of mine who has got married. Was looking forward to talking to her and when I actually did, it turned out to be an anti-climax. The poor female had her in laws around her and was not able to talk freely. She was somehow very formal. [:)]. But, still, at least I spoke to her. She appeared happy (touch wood). But I still wanna talk to her when she is free and can be herself. Let’s see.

Then there is this friend of mine who has fits of weird behavior. I guess it’s her mood swings. On certain days she is fine and on other she is not. The recent phase of hers has been marred by her WEIRD behavior. I don’t know what is it??? I normally ignore her weirdo moods but, there is a limit to things. I don’t know what I must do to stop this crap. I have tried, but a faux paus never fails to happen. I know even she is trying hard. Let’s see how it works out. I hope good sense prevails and things go back to normal.

The rain has stopped now. But, it has left its mark behind. The whole campus is water-logged. Me still not sleepy. I guess I will try and post this blog tonight itself (trust me it’s gonna be tough!!). After that I will try reading a John Grisham I had issued from the library. It’s very BORING. Sleep is a long way off. Anyways, good night and take care. Chow.

P.S: I hope you guys like the new look of my blog. I must admit I LOVE it!!!!

Life rocks...

ya hooooooooooooooooooooooo... i have finally managed to get a new look on my blog...looks good to me.... wat do u think???? apart from that its a sunday(i forgot to mention a BORING sunday)... gotto go now.... surd is hungry and if i dont go she will eat me alive!!!!! chow... should write something on monday or tuesday..that is when the most boring lectures are!!!!!

I AM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hieee everybody….. thoughtfullthoughts are back after a 3 month sabbatical. For the past three months yours truly was in mera gaon mera des, aamaar Kolkata. My stay in cal started off on a happy note. I had the pleasure of having home made food….trust me, its DIVINE!!!!!!! Apart from that I was also really happy about the fact that I was at home at a time when my presence was required at home. My not been there could have had complicated matters. But thankfully that did not happen. I am really really happy about that.

My stay in cal was also very TORTUROUS. For one whole bloody month, I was down with pox. I assure it was bad, bordering on been HORRIBLE at times. In the first three days, I could not watch TV, read books. All I used to do the whole day long was listen to music on my laptop or just lie down on the bed. I did not have the caliber to do anything else. Even drinking water used to take a lot of effort. I have never felt anything that bad. To make matters worse, Jhabs (that’s behna moreee, my sister) and Nishu (bhai mora) also got the pox from me. I actually felt very bad about that.  

My summer training in cal was another screwed up affair. I was doing my internship at ICICI Direct.com (remember, WE BRING GOOD THINGS TO LIFE). Well, nothing good happened in my life!!!!!!!!! I had a really cartoon female as my industry guide. She was supposed to guide me regarding the nitty-gritty’s of finance and marketing. All she taught me in the three months was how to SHOUT your HEAD OFF for no rhyme and reason. Oh, and I also learnt that you ought to have a damn big ego which needs constant massaging if you are in a high post. My faculty guide was another cartoon network. All he wanted was us to go and sit in front of him and hear his gyan. He really screwed my happiness!!!! But, thank god it’s over…..

Then another aspect in which I was not too be disappointed was that I had thought I would freak out in cal. But, as usual that was not to be. I realized going back home for three months is different from going back for 7-10 days. I guess your importance tends to diminish. Guess what, I even went for a movie alone!!!!!! I was that disgusted with life.

But the good part was also meeting up Shekhar, my old friend. We had met after a lot of time and it felt nice to catch up on old times. We had a couple off adda sessions over chai( I personally think it should be our national drink. I guess I will write to manmohan singh about this.  ). Another high point was going to Tarkeswar in a car. It’s a very sacred temple for Shiv jee (Bhole baba). It was AWESOME fun. It was a 146 kilometre journey with a SEXY road.

Another major thing happened while I was in cal. I don’t know whether that “thing” is good or bad??????? All I know it made me more self-reliant than I was previously. It was an experience which I will never forget in my life. I hope no one has to go through what I went through. For the first time in my life, I felt LONELY. It was PATHETIC. Why does it happen that when you want something damn badly, you don’t get it??? There could be people who disagree on this, but it always happens with me!!!!!! But, I guess it has made me a stronger person. There was only one person in this world who could have made me realize “NOT TO EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ANYONE”. That person did exactly that. I have learnt my lesson in a very hard way. I hope things improve, but, I have my doubts. Somehow, it is always messed up!!!!!!

One of my closest friend got married off. The worst part was that I could not attend her wedding. I never thought that was possible, but, I guess it does not always work out the way you want it to. I know she needed me there, but, I could do nothing. When I met her for the last time before she was leaving, I felt very weird. I guess I felt how a father feels when he marries of his daughter (it might sound clichéd and filmy). It is not that weird once you understand the fact that she was a friend, came very close to becoming a bhabhi, a younger sister, a pet whom I could pamper, and finally a friend to whom I could open up to. I am REALLY REALLY SORRY babes. Miss talking to you Take care.

Finally, in this semester I have decided to be blog mere regularly than before. That is due to the fact that I have a schedule in which I have loads of spare time. I have also started subscribing for Economic Times, a bible for any finance student. I HOPE to read it on a constant basis. Let’s see, I have my fingers crossed!!!!! Hope you guys read this... Chow, till the next time which should be pretty soon.

IT AINT NO HAPPENING MAN!!!!

“Lonely, I am so lonely…”-This song by Akon keeps coming back to my mind. I had a big fight with one of my best friends. I guess it was bound to happen. Things had been boiling for a week or so and one of us was bound to overreact. Maybe I overreacted, I don’t know. I was sick and tired of been taken for granted. As in, I don’t mind been taken for granted by close friends, but there is a limit to things. I don’t have an ego, but I certainly do have self respect. I very rarely get into fights with friends. I always avoid them. But this is one deadlock I am not breaking. This time around the other party has to take the initiative. If I make a mistake, then it normally takes me half an hour maximum to realize my mistake. If I still don’t, then I am damn sure I am not wrong. Let’s see what happens……

One positive to have come out of the whole thing is that I have learnt how to handle things alone. I used to do it before also, but I always had this thing that my friends would be there for me. But very SADLY, I have been made to realize that NOPE, you cannot expect things, even from the closest of your friends. Now, it has finally STUCK that I have got to fight my own battles single handedly. Can’t rely on anyone. All this has made me devise a theory which says-“when you want something very badly, chances are, you will not get it!!!”… Weird but true.

I know the whole issue can be talked out. There has been a problem/ mistake from both sides. But, strangely, I don’t even feel like talking. It was not like this before. After an argument, both of us itched to talk to each other. But, nowadays, talking requires a great deal of effort. I guess we have to make an effort to call each other and then also talking normally is difficult. I have no clue why this is happening???????? I don’t think that the distance came from my side. In fact, I have always tried hard to stay in touch. God knows that and he also knows how much this hurts. When you expect something from your close ones and it does not materialize, bloody hell it HURTS… that’s why, DON’T EXPECT THINGS FROM ANYBODY. I hope we talk and sort it out. I hope things return back to normal, as they were... I can only pray………