I DON’T KNOW WHATS HAPPENING????
I am feeling very weird. I get the impression no one understands me. I cannot think of a single name who could be said to understand why what I am doing is not wrong (it might not necessarily be correct). I am been misunderstood by one and all. According to many people, there is no justification in what I do. I have lost it. My relatives think that I am been very "high and mighty” and am very choosy about what I want. I have heard the phrase “beggars can’t be choosers” quite a lot over the past few days. Suddenly I have become a high flier. My friends think that there is only one side to my personality. If I am with them I always ought to kid around. The serious side of me should never come forth. If by misfortune that part of me surfaces then I am supposed to deal with it all alone. When I am ‘NORMAL’ I am given the opportunity to be back with them. We are back on square one. The same old time pass has to continue. The funda is not to take me seriously. COME ON GUYS, there is another side of me which is not always there for everyone to see. At times it just comes up. Even I can’t do anything about it. Even I have ambitions. They might be less in comparison to others but they are there. The people’s perception about me is not correct. I have lent my shoulder to loads of people loads of time. I don’t wanna show of. But I have been there for people without them asking for it. Now, when I need support there is no one, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. A very sorry state of affairs. I know I will be fine in due course of time. But this is feeling of LONELINESS rankles me a lot. Will it ever go away??? Will I ever have a friend/ partner who would understand me? With whom I would not need to say things. The person would just understand. Will someone ever play that role with me?? There were people who came close to it, but now they are not there. Things have changed. There is no one. Is it that people are turning a blind eye towards me? Are they taking me for granted?? Why? This should not happen. I am hoping from the bottom of my heart that things improve. Pray for me.
One of my friends always tells me not expect things from anyone. I have never agreed to her. I always used to say that we can expect stuff from our close ones. But, today I hat to say this, I guess she is right. I will try not to expect anything from anyone in the future. It’s going to be really tough.
One of my friends always tells me not expect things from anyone. I have never agreed to her. I always used to say that we can expect stuff from our close ones. But, today I hat to say this, I guess she is right. I will try not to expect anything from anyone in the future. It’s going to be really tough.
posted by Amateur at
03:54
3 Comments:
Just posting a comment to let you know I've been here. Too tired and hence going off to sleep. Will post a couple of comments tomorrow. ;) Till then, ciao. :)
No two people on earth are the same. Hence, the idea of being able to perfectly understand another person, even if he/she is a very close friend, is out of the question. One can only make educated guesses.
You are right when you say that people get caught in 'personality traps', i.e. if a certain person is seen to have a particular outlook towards life, people expect similar behaviour all the time. As we know, most of this isn't true (comedians with serious lives being prime examples, not to mention the cartoonist R. K. Laxman, who is indeed a very very serious man..).
That leaves two options. Either present an equivalent face to the public at large, which allows one to put on different masks of happiness, anger, joy and sadness as per the demands of the occasion. The other option is to have a 'fixed mask', that of the 'entertainer' or the 'serious' person that one is more used to. Of course, this means that when one doesn't feel like being in a particular mood, public opinion would tend to go against you. And they are not really at fault, since they haven't seen or aren't familiar with this side of your personality, and one is always skeptical of the unknown.
You may argue that "being yourself" is the best option. True, perhaps... The only problem with actually showing your true emotions all the time is that you become predictable and your actions can be manipulated.
Yours is the course to decide my friend.
And don't worry about the friendship bit, everyone finds "that" particular friend at the correct time. Your time, it seems, shall come soon.
i might not be able to send a loooooong comment like the earlier one...but just had to tell you, that there may be times i fail to understand you..but will be there for you always...might not be able to prove that as you have done to me most of the times but ask me for it and you get it..whatever it may be..i owe you man! for being one of my best of friends..:) love you
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